amnesia or forgetfulness?

Definitions:
1) A loss of memory, especially one brought on by some distressing or shocking experience.
2) Partial or total loss of memory, usually resulting from shock, psychological disturbance, brain injury, or illness.
3) Loss of a large block of interrelated memories; complete or partial loss of memory caused by brain injury, shock, etc.

at times, i do like to curse myself... with amnesia...

honestly, do you not wish that you can totally erase some horrible or upsetting memories in your mind? well, i do.

as i can't turn back time, i can only hope that i can erase those awful &/or embarrassing memories. Not only the memories of how others treated me shabbily, and also on my actions too. i'm no angel, and i've hurt people with my actions unintentionally and deliberately.

It's too late for regrets and what's done can't be undone. And i'm also quite prideful to offer my sincere apologies to them (not all of them though). However, if they know i have amnesia, then they would forgive me, right?! Ok, even if they dun totally forgive me, but there's this chance of starting afresh.

i dun really wan to bother about those who have upset me before. cuz isn't it better to remember a life without these people? let their imprints totally vanished! yes, i'm selfish, i want people to forgive me but yet i refuse to forgive the others.

i wan selective amnesia, can i? not selected forgetfulness.
cuz having amnesia is not a choice we can choose but forgetfulness can be a pure excuse.