desertion

my mentor deserted me after coaching me for only 7 working days, for greener pastures..
am happy for him but am stressed and worried for me.

i dunno who to depend on now, cuz its a sales industry = selfish industry.
now i gotta work even harder to prove my worth, and i even need to fend my livelihood.

to give a very important 1st impression to the clients and be prepared.
to also be prepared when candidates counter question me...

am brain dead to blog. soo tired from work.
i've thought too much about work since i started work.

=( & T.T

someone, help me.... i'm still in office...

pui! pui! pui! no thanks to the farking bloody biatch!!!!

i'm not proud of myself today. i teared in office today, infront of my boss...

no thanks to the bloody biatches and their boss!
no thanks to their unhelpfulness & selfishness!
no thanks to their last minute adhoc request!

i hate it!!!

brief updates (Jan-Jun) - 1

It's been 7 months since i've updated my blog. My work has been killing me. You should know by now, i only write an entry when i'm at work. perhaps i should just close down the blog, maybe i am just not suited to have a blog.

or perhaps i can just keep everything to myself, since i'm beginning to be rather skillful at it.

*sidetracked*

anyway, in chronological order! however, its not completed yet.. =D


New Year's Eve
Went to Kel's friend's (Christopher) house for a large-scale BBQ, with loads of yummy food and simply too much drinks. Apparently, Christopher's family have a tradition of inviting all family, friends, church friends, etc for a BBQ on NY Eve at their house. So we the friends were supposed to bring an item to the BBQ, not entirely a potluck though. And we ALL BROUGHT ALCOHOLIC DRINKS! how predictable...

There i finally saw the Hello Kitty room (Chrisopher's wife's fave). I call it the Hello Kitty Shrine. Never ever seen so many Hello Kitty stuff in a room, other than shops.

And when i saw the kids' playroom, which occupied the entire attic. How envious i felt, cuz i did not have such a big playroom when i was young. It's basically every kids' dream. =D


Chinese New Year
Watched 3 movies in 2 days. Jay Chou's basketball show with Kel (movie was ok), Ah Long pte ltd (with Von, Vete & their family. that show is totally hilarous!) and CJ7 (with Von, Vete & their family, with some of our friends, and my sisters and cousin Victoria. i cried abit during the movie).

went home to sleep during those 3 days. other than the usual visiting, things were basically the same, i suppose. *shan't think of unhappiness*

oh ya, i won about $150 playing 21. =D 1st time ever, cuz usually i tend to lose $100... kekek

Valentine's Day
Went to Al Forno for dinner. everything was so standardized. thus i dun think i ever wanna have VDay dinner outside again. But no flowers this year though. And yes, i am complaining.

hmm.. ok, now to let myself feel better --> if i had flowers, then things would seem very uniformed, like a cult, right?? dun u agree???

erm, as for pressie, there was no gifts exchange. cuz earlier he went to Chicago (biz trip for 1 week) and got me a Coach bag. A very pleasant surprise cuz he usually is quite against my branded follies and yet he got me this bag in advance for my birthday present. Very advance, if you ask me.

Initially, he had intend to give me the bag on my birthday! Who does that?! And which gal will agree?! however, in the end, he gave it to me the 2nd day he was back in SG. =D

For being so nice to me, i later bought him the 3days pass to the F1 night race, for his belated Vdae present. I'm so easy to humor. =x



******* abit abrupt but i shall cont about other occasions on another day... =D *******

ill

.
was on the way for driving lessons,
got drenched in heavy downpour,
now am down with a cold.

been 3 days
without proper rest and recuperation

can't afford to succumb to virus.

lots of things to do, need the strength.

this feeling sucks.

~ half alive, not half dead

.

*sweat*

*keeping fingers cross*

final exam results

will be known

anytime soon...

*worried*

*ouch*

twisted my ankle!

went to see tui-na doc yesterday

but still limping...

*hurts like hell*

=(

.

thoughts cant focus

.
today my thoughts are weird. they seem jagged, shattered or in-pieces? they simply cant focus.

been feeling down for the past few weeks. indescribable... pain? yearning? confusion? heartache? i dunno.

need to keep myself busy, to focus on other matters till its all over. but the mind refuses to help. its getting lazy due to its inactivity.
i am getting lazy together with the mind, too lazy to do anything. to lazy to do wat i should be doing to achieve my goals.
or am i subconsciously trying to escape from reality? or am i finding excuses?

yet when the truth forces me to face up to it. dark fear overwhelms me. tears flow freely. the knowledge of it, the power of it, is overpowering.

and i allow it to overwhelm me, to control me, to render me helpless. to be pathetic.

i am getting out of hand.

"once again, she did it.
sorry. she's really sorry.
please forgive her for her mistake..."

.